


Make it Hurt Less

by IfCujoWereSappho



Category: Saint Beast
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 11:42:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7975546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IfCujoWereSappho/pseuds/IfCujoWereSappho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are both hurting<br/>They both need comfort<br/>They understand each others pain</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make it Hurt Less

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Saint Beast or any recognizable characters  
> Non/Self-Beta'd, all mistakes, OOCness and bad writing are mine

 

Despite being a very caring and gentle soul, Shin could be assertive if necessary. 

So it came as little surprise that his first instinct was to comfort Rei on a night after Zeus had exiled Yuda and Luca. They had spent the first couple of days in shock after their lovers descent, but as if trying to return to the false peace from before, Zeus wanted the remaining Saint Beasts back to their duties and attitudes before the rebellion.

_ As if _ , Shin thought, wiping at his tear reddened eyes. It was dark, but he wasn’t quite ready to leave the garden and lie in his bed for another sleepless night. Multiple times he’d contemplated making his way to what had been Yuda’s room, trying to comfort himself with the scent of sheets Yuda had welcomed him into so many times.

 

Shin stood, considering trying to spend another night in the library. The first time he’d tried he couldn’t even manage to read. Every word was Yuda’s name, every sentence a description of his fallen angel, every paragraph a scene from his memories of them together. He wouldn’t be in the library anymore, he would be on the riverbank playing his harp into the cycle of Yuda smiling, closed eyed at the music which would further fuel the feelings Shin played into it. Or he would be with all of the other Saint Beasts, enjoying something Rei cooked. He’d blush as Yuda would wipe a crumb from the corner of his mouth in front of their friends then look at him in a way Shin knew meant he was refraining from kissing the musician right then and there. He would just fall into memories again until he wet the pages of his books with tears, his eyes stinging with his desperate yearning. 

 

He wrapped his arms around himself wishing that it weren’t his own touch he felt, but sighed in resolution  _ I will try and rest tonight _ , before making his way back into the palace.

 

-

 

Rei looked to the balcony to his left. The night was somehow bright despite its heavy feeling.

He unclasps the collar of his robe, remembering the feel of Luca’s hand on his skin as he pushes it over a shoulder. It’s not the same as Luca’s fingers, drifting over his skin, parting Rei’s robe and pushing it aside so that the silver haired angel has a wider expanse to touch, to kiss. Rei whimpers as his Luca-of-memory kisses the back of his neck. The sound is partly a response of appreciation and excitement and partly in pain at the realization that it’s no more than memory.

 

Rei touches the spot on the back of his neck and his next whimper cracks into a sob that he stops suppressing as he slumps to the floor. He doesn’t know if it’s been moments or minutes, but he hasn’t been crying for very long when he hears his name from outside of his room.

“Who?” he calls out as best he can, unsure if he’s speaking to another illusion.

“Rei,” the voice calls, stronger, “it’s me.”

Rei isn’t sure if he’s disappointed or relived. “Oh...Shin.”

 

He couldn’t be certain, but Shin thinks it’s his name is that dismantled voice. It’s not really an answer, but he lets himself in anyway. He finds Rei, a silhouette in the moonlight, slumped in front of the balcony. Shin kneels beside him and reaches out only to stop short before actually touching him.

 

Neither Shin nor Rei had known how to accept touch since their lovers departed. They’d seen Goh holding Gai and Gai wiping angry tears from Goh’s face, but neither of the left behind lovers had let anyone close to them for days now. 

_ Maybe this is the breaking point _ , Shin thought.  _ Maybe I should try _ . He settles one hand at the junction of Rei’s shoulder and neck and finds himself surprised when Rei leans into it.

“Rei.”

“Shin...” his friend mutters. “I’m so useless like this,” he nods briefly to his robe, open at one shoulder. “I can’t even change without thinking of Luca.”

 

Shin’s heart aches all over again, but now it’s for his friend. “I’m sorry Rei,” he says. He brushes his thumb under Rei’s eye, wiping away newly forming tears.  

“I shouldn’t have left you alone like this.”

Rei turns to face him more directly and leans his head into Shin’s chest. “Me too,” he says.

“Thank you. You’re the only one who understands right now, Shin.”

At that Shin wraps both arms around him and presses close. “They wouldn’t want us this torn up, don’t you think?”

Rei returns the embrace and says “You’re so strong.”

“Hm? You’re strong too Rei, but you don’t have to be alone anymore.”

“You were alone too, I’m sorry,” Rei apologizes. 

Shin doesn’t say anything else then, he just strokes Rei’s hair and let’s him cry some more.

 

When Rei has fallen silent, Shin looks down at him for a sign that he’s either asleep or content. “Rei?” 

Rei’s grip around him suddenly tightens and he says without letting go, “I missed this. Like when we were younger.” He looks up at Shin, his tired smile reminiscing about being adolescent roommates, best friends who’d grown up side by side. “I don’t like this part of being older though,” he adds.

Shin gives him a subdued chuckle and brushes a lock of Rei’s hair behind his ear. 

Suddenly Rei’s expression changes to concern. He pulls out of the embrace only to frame Shin’s face with his hands. “You look tired.”

The angel beside him nods. “I am. I had hoped I’d sleep tonight.”

“Oh, don’t let me keep you up. Thank you,” Rei says. 

“No it’s fine,” Shin tells him. “It’s been hard sleeping without Yuda anyway.”

“Very,” Rei agrees.

Shin stands and helps Rei up. He brushes more tears from Rei’s eyes and kisses his forehead. “Will you be alright for now Rei? I’m here if you need anything.”

Rei smiles at him, genuinely. “I know you are.”

 

-

 

Shin forced himself to lie down and close his eyes. He’s unsure how long he’s spent just lying in bed again, tired but unable to rest, when he hears a knock on his door.  Shin sit’s up,

“Is something the matter?” he asks, probably to whomever happens to be on the other side of the door. It opens just enough for Rei to slide in and close it behind himself.

Rei doesn’t say anything yet, just looks at Shin, who nods and scoots to one side of the bed. “Can I stay here tonight?” Rei asks anyway.

Shin reaches out a hand to him.”I confess, I miss it too sometimes.”

“I guess it’s harder to miss sleeping next to your childhood friend when you’re sleeping with your lover though,” Rei says. He understands, he doesn’t blame him. 

Shin pulls back the top sheet and Rei slides next to him. 

“Let me be here for you too,” he says, taking Shin’s hand. “Maybe you’re stronger than me, you comforted me first, but it seems you don’t like being alone.”

“You know I never did really,” Shin smiles. 

“So just for now?” Rei asks.

“Until it hurts less,” Shin answers. He lets Rei draw him close, kiss his cheek and hold him against his chest. For the first in too many nights, he feels peaceful.

**Author's Note:**

> I really love the idea of the Saint Beasts as very (familiarly) affectionate and tender. I wish SB weren't so light on that.


End file.
